It's especially difficult to tell the sex of porcupine cubs because they are too prickly to pick up and turn over. Next to porcupines, pufferfish are the toughest. Generally, breeders use "group-breeding" techniques on these animals - that is, putting large numbers of them in a confined space - to avoid the painstaking chore of singling out a male and a female. Unfortunately, this creates competition for a breeding partner resulting in devastatingly high breeding casualties. Also unfortunate for breeders is that many of these animals simply find each other too prickly. The competition, then, is to attract the least prickly pufferfish or porcupine. According to the Laws of Natural Selection, both these animals should be completely smooth by now. Natural Selection also suggests that these species will eventually become dinosaurs.

Truly, dinosaurs are the pinnacle of Animalia. Given enough time, every animal of every species will eventually evolve into a type of dinosaur... followed by a winged dinosaur. Evidence for these changes lie in the fact that most dinosaurs could destroy most of the animals that exist today - including prickly ones. This act of dinosaurs destroying prickly animals is referred to by the scientific community as "Survival of the Fittest."

Survival of the Fittest is part of Darwin's many theories of evolution that are complete bullhocky. Balthazar Peabody, Naturalist of Santa Maria, made a number of discoveries, centuries earlier that completely contradict Darwin's sloppy guesswork. On a trip to the Andes, with Columbus and company, Peabody, while experimenting with tropical mushrooms, had a vision which revealed to him the true origin of Man. Man was not created by God, as was the popular belief at the time, nor was Man descended from monkeys, as Darwin would have us believe. Rather, like so many things, the truth lies in the middle - Man is, in fact, created by monkeys!

Peabody's theories have been dismissed in recent years due to a lack of evidence, though modern day followers point to the mushrooms as proof. Nevertheless, the theories are kept under wrap by a type of secret society.